Today’s topic in SOUL COACHING is Facing The Shadow. Facing that deep part of us that we do not like so much and we seem to reflect it on others. The good part is that I have recognized this in myself for a long time…so there is no mystery for me. My shadow is NOT a stranger at all.
My shadow is my fluctuating frustration level. Days that I become nit picky, that everything bothers me or annoys me. There are days that I seem to let things just roll off my back and not think anything about it. Then there are days that I get so easily frustrated/annoyed at every little thing around me and every little thing my family is doing or saying or whatever. (also total strangers – but I do not go out a lot)
I have come to realize that this shadow shows up when I am so frustrated in myself not being able to do the things I used to do for myself and around me…and now I HAVE TO let others do it…or rely on others to do it. Of course they are not going to do all things the same way I did, or at a pace I would….and that drives that shadow in me crazy – SOMETIMES! Most of the time I am so appreciative of all that my family does and all…but for some reason in the middle of me feeling totally incompetent and useless – this shadow rears its’ ugly head and just explodes. It only makes my head hurt…my mouth works over time ….. and my stomach winds up in knots because I have gotten myself crazy over it all.
That is when (after a while, and stepping away from the situation and taking a few breathes and giving myself some time to think over what I said or did) I ALWAYS come back and apologize, fix things, explain, and we all just move on. My family (THANK GOD) is quite used to this frustration level of mine – and tho we are all trying to work with it…sometimes I let it take over my life and step forward to lead.
I used to deny these actions of the shadow for a long time – but I can say that I do face them….I do look at them head on…and I am able to deal with it and prevent some negative patterns from taking over.
Today – I will lead and NOT follow like a shadow!
This is day 17 of SOUL COACHING and day 18 of NABLOPOMO.