TURNING POINT

Today is the first day of Water Week in my soul coaching group/course/class.
Today we are suppose to put down all the turning points in our life and how we felt at those times..OMG – this one is a bit overwhelming for me because I think there are so many more then the few I am going to mention here – but I will put down what I have thought of so far.

  • When my parents started me with piano lessons at the age of 4 – how excited I was – how fascinated I found the whole thing- I was taking lessons from a nun at the time!
  • When I had to have my tonsils taken out-my brother and a neighbor kid had it done at the same time – we all shared a room – the hospital would not let my parents stay with us…during the night I got up (after the surgery) and got deathly sick to my stomach from the anethesia…the nurse came in and yelled at me – making me feel horrible for getting sick – she sent me off (by myself) to a bathroom (down the hall) to get re dressed…really nasty woman. I was terrified.( I was just 7)
  • When we moved from White Plains NY to Croton on the Hudson NY (an hour or so further north from the city) I was sad to leave my friends I had made in the neighborhood but thrilled because our new home was so much more bigger and I was going to start a new school and the town was so much more smaller (more kid friendly)
  • Starting a new school TWICE…once when we moved because there was still two months left of school and then again at the start of a new school year because my parents wanted me in a catholic school not the public one I was in for two months…I would have to say I was excited – Love new things!
  • Graduating eigth grade – going off to start a new school – how much fun – nervous, apprehensive, but excited.
  • While in eigth grade – losing my older brother – he was murdered – by a gang over a drug deal – devastated me and my family – broke my heart.
  • have to leave my new high school after only one year because the private school was closing – so off to public high school I was going…VERY nervous, scared, and so sad to be separated from my friends I had made in that one year!
  • My parents selling my piano junior year because I did not want to play concertos anymore – I wanted to play more upbeat music – sold it while I was at school – DEVASTATED me – I always thought I would be playing. CRIED for days – even weeks!
  • Graduating High School – FINALLYthrilled beyond belief. I received an acceptance letter from SUNY at BUFFALO…but when I called the school to get the rest of the paperwork they said it was a mistake-I was not accepted…when I went to my guidance counselor – he said he thinks I should be happy with just being a secretary in the city like the majority of the girls in my class –nothing wrong with becoming a secretary but my heart was set on working with children. – HE CRUSHED ME…so I wrote a state senator (at my dad’s suggestion) then he in turn went off on the university and got me in – where I graduated my last year with honors with my bachelors in Health and Human Services – AWESOME!!!
  • Working at a children’s facility (that was farm based) that had emotional disabilities…worked from just a dorm counselor to a supervisor of my own dorm and the entire facility when I was on call. LOVED LOVED LOVED that job – I grew tremendously at that job – I knew I found my niche there.
  • Moving from that job and NY to Florida to own my own day care center and be closer to my family who by now have all moved to florida! Devastated that I was leaving that job – I so loved the kids and the staff and all that I had accomplished…but I wanted to have my own business and be closer to my family also – so I moved!
  • Marrying my first husband – BIG MISTAKE – went through a ton of hurt, so much confusion and mental abuse. Total turmoil! I was thrilled it was over when it ended. Felt stupid I was ever with him.
  • Giving birth to twins – TRUE heaven! The BEST moment of my life, happiest, total jubilation.
  • Have my son die from SIDS…the WORST MOMENT IN MY LIFE….one second he was crying wanting a his pacifier and the next he was gone…I am still not over it and that was 19 years ago. I have never really been the same – that HURT and DEVASTATION NEVER EVER goes away! That kind of pain is impossible to put into words – truly no words can describe it!
  • Being a single mom for almost 5 years – true JOY…watching my daughter grow and take steps into becoming the person she is today -I believe during those few years, just her and I created a very tight and strong bond between the two of us – that to this day we share and rely onGLORIOUS!
  • Giving up my day care due to economic pit falls – crushing – but I found a great job with the state prison system – and moved up quite fast – to a job that paid extremely well and gave me a lot of latitude to develop a program to teach life skills to juvenile offenders. This job made me feel like I was really making a positive difference in young lives – so fulfilling-so life changing!
  • Meeting my hunnie-who was also a single father of twins – a match made in heaven…together now for 15 BEAUTIFUL years. He makes my soul complete in so many ways!-Our relationship has been tested and tried – and we are so made for each – the love just keeps getting better and stronger each day – this really is what heaven is like!
  • Buying a house and raising our children together – TOTAL BLISS – life has never been boring, a new adventure every day – so much pure love and laughter – made me grow as a person – made me realize that my children gave back to me more then I could give them.
  • Became gravely ill due to being EXPOSED to black mold for over 5 years working with the state..it destroyed my lungs, destroyed my life, and forced me into retirement and being declared totally and permanently disabled..having my life shortened is DEVASTATING! What my family has been put through is a nightmare.
  • Having my boys join the army (one has already gotten out) my other son is deployed – this ages you beyond words…terrified something might happen, constant worrying, pure joy when I get to talk to him online or hear his voice on the phone!
  • Realizing just how depressed I am – and seeing no way out – scares me!
  • Discovering mixed media art – so liberating – and brings me such joy!
  • Having my daughter graduate High School – and helping her with college preparations – One of the happiest days of my life! I still cry over it! (just happened this past june)

For now those are the TURNING POINTS of my life – as much as I can remember right now. I am sure there were others – the words in red are the feelings that a certain point made me feel!
If I sat here long enough I could probably think of more – but for now – those turning points I think are the high lights the major points that have created the person I am today! Very interesting for me to read back on them…!

This is my entry for SOUL COACHING day 8 and day 9 for NABLOPOMO.

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2 responses to “TURNING POINT

  1. What a journey of extremes, Ellie, from bliss to devastation along the way. You are resilient. How wonderful that you’re surrounded by the love of your hunnie and your kids.

  2. WoW Ellie! What an indomitable spirit! πŸ™‚ And you have reached a safe shore! The visual on this post is so joyous! Thank you! πŸ™‚

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